8 Apr 2016
21 May 2014
Tips for Overcoming Exam Stress
Exam Stress:
Lots of things can trigger feelings of anxiety and
stress, especially during exam season. However, there are ways to deal with
stress and anxiety using these tips on keeping calm under pressure. Stress and
anxiety are normal responses to a perceived threat – real or imagined. Everyone
gets anxious. It's the feeling we have when faced with something we're
frightened of, though usually in response to a perceived threat in the future
e.g. I am going to fail my exam, I am going to disappoint my parents, I am not
going to be able to get a job.
Although, this perceived threat is usually
disproportionate to the reality. And this fear triggers our ‘fight and flight’
response which is a physiological response in the sympathetic nervous system -
triggering hormones like adrenalin and cortisol, which increase your heart
rate, making you sweat, tremble and leading to a shortness of breath. Exams are
a good example. We all worry about them, we tell ourselves "I know I'm
going to fail", our heartbeat and breathing speed up as we walk into the
hall to find our seat. This makes our thoughts race ahead of us; seeking out
the signals for danger. When these aren’t found because there are no immediate
signs of danger (e.g. a lion attacking me, an imminent disaster), our brain
goes into a cycle of negative thinking and anticipates the worst possible
outcome without relief.
A low level of stress is sometimes helpful – when it
used to motivate us to meet a deadline or to predict and problem-solve. But
sometimes anxiety becomes a problem. If you answer yes to any of these, you may
be suffering from anxiety:
Do you get into a cycle of worry a lot of the time?
Do you feel constantly on edge?
Do you get shortness of breath or panic attacks?
Do you start to sweat or tremble?
Do you have nervous tics e.g. tapping your foot?
Do you feel tense in your back, neck and shoulders?
Do you get anxious about stuff other people are relaxed
about?
Have you started to avoid situations that cause
anxiety?
Is it starting to get in the way of your life?
These are symptoms of anxiety. Don't beat yourself
up or get angry – this increases anxiety. Sometimes anxiety is triggered by
stressful and difficult events in our lives: Family break-up. Death. Illness.
Bullying. Distressing experiences that puts us on our guard and makes us get
anxious about other things.
Tips to help deal with anxiety:
Deep breathing - simple but effective because it
uses a physiological process to relive the physical symptoms of anxiety and
stress hormones in the body. Breathe in and out slowly; find your own rhythm;
three seconds in through the nose, three seconds out through the mouth. Pause momentarily,
then try again. Try breathing using your tummy to extend your diaphragm and not
your chest - it will encourage deeper breaths. Keep at it for 3-5 minutes.
Ditch caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes. Detox your
mind with enough water and even camomile tea, which has a calming effect. Drugs
will also mess with your mind so steer clear.
Exercise. Go for a sauna. Get a massage. The
biggest chill out remedy out there. Go get sweaty to release the stress
hormones and lactic acid that has built up in your muscles, keeping them tense
and strained.
Try to stop fixating on the bad stuff. For every
negative worry or thought: "I am useless at maths", chuck in a
positive one "But I am amazing at art".
Make a list of all the things you're stressing
over. With immediate issues, prioritise and solve them as you go throughout
your daily routines. Take your time, go slow. If you rush you will
increase anxiety levels. With medium term problems; put down a date and time
when you can solve them. With problems where there are no clear solutions,
physically tear them off your list and discard them in the bin, as it is
pointless worrying about them. Be disciplined and don’t let your mind wander
back to them.
10 May 2014
Is Arguing Good or Bad?
We have recently learned
from research that an unhappy marriage, where conflict and frequent arguments occur
between couples, can triple the chances of a man having an early death due to
stress and anxiety related illnesses.
A landmark study, by Professor Rikke Lund, into the health hazards of conflicted families and
private lives has found that endless fighting with a spouse can in fact
be the death of you, especially if you are out of work - and riskier still if
you are a man. Women reported much the same stresses from a demanding spouse
but it was less likely to kill them. The Danish study tracked the family
relationships and health patterns of 10,000 men and women aged between 36 and
52 over 10 years. It found 6 per cent of men and 4 per cent of women went to an
early grave.
The main cause, according to
the study, was the risk of death by cancer, followed by heart disease, stroke,
liver disease, and suicide. However, the researchers say at least 50% of the
deaths could have been prevented if the person had not also been suffering from
the added burden of a hostile marriage, difficult relationships with their
children and often very little freedom to avoid arguments after a job loss,
when men became isolated in despair.
Professor
Lund claims: ‘not all arguments will end up having this deadly end, but in
general if you have these stressful relations, very frequently it will lead to
an increased risk of terminal illness brought on by stress’ Arguments can lead
to healthier relationships if there is resolution and they are framed in a
constructive way in order to renew and regenerate deteriorating relationships. The
research contradicts other studies that find married men fare better, live
longer and are healthier. Professor Lund says that may be true generally, but
it depends on the relationship and whether couples can repair the rift after
conflict in meaningful and constructive ways.
As
mentioned already, unemployment was also found to be a factor. Lund says: ‘What
we were able to identify were that people who were unemployed were more
vulnerable to these kind of stressful relationships, as were men who had these
worries and demands from increasingly hostile partners.’
19 May 2013
Mindfulness - Counselling In Richmond
Counselling Richmond | Enduring Mind | Greg Savva
Your mental & physical health is probably the single most important human endeavour for us to attend to. And yet with our values so firmly placed on the diversions of modern – making money, entertainment & new technologies – we rarely take the time to develop our inner lives beyond the material world and our intellectual life. What of meditative reflection? Or attending to our five senses in a mindful, considerate way? What about a more sensitive awareness of our emotional life?
All these things are neglected in the name of 'being realistic'. Time, work and earning cold hard cash. These are modern anxieties. And necessities. But that is not the whole story. We have seen as well as a better standard of living, a longer lifespan and more comfortable lifestyle, we are also paying the cost of not caring for ourselves our showing more compassion to others.
As a human being, as well as a psychotherapist, I share these same struggles and concerns. How do I exercise and stick to a healthy diet? How do I spend time more time with my family? What can I do for others? These are all issues we face when we look into the mirror each morning and ask ourselves have I really achieved what I was put on this planet to do.
There are many defences we can employ to avoid reflecting on these difficult questions. However, the meaning of life is not something to be sneered at or derided as a trivial pursuit, which is somehow beyond our busy and hectic lives. How do we find a balance for exercise, work, art and wellbeing? It is not a difficult conundrum to solve.
We can steal moments here and there to develop a mindful awareness of our bodies and minds. And this is something we need to pass on to the next generation who are ever more prone to the insipid illusions of the virtual world. Rather than wealth, property or any grand inheritance trust, what our children really need to learn is how to be happy in their own skin: to have a sense of self-acceptance. I have developed many ways to help clients find the time and space for mindfulness in their lives.
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